As a black woman it pains me to feel as though I can’t speak my mind how I feel . Scream or cry when I need to. All because I/ we are judged. We’re made out to be rude , nasty , or even bitter. Just for speaking up for ourselves and what we believe to be true to us or the way we choose to be treated. We are looked at as ghetto and unable to submit in relationships or be seen as unmanageable employees. But why? why is it that only the BLACK woman is seen in this manner. Yet, its ” sexy” when a Latina woman or an Asian woman (for example) gets loud or speaks their mind. All in ways that are deemed “aggressive” when it comes to a black woman. As if we can’t have opinions or speak our minds. Of course delivery of speaking your mind is EVERYTHING! But being sweet about our standards, and the things we want out of relationships isn’t always doable. Even speaking up about people we choose to associate with and now they speak to us or treat us is important as well. We don’t hold any less value than any other race of women and if we choose to speak our mind it should be taken into consideration just as anyone else’s feelings.
Personally I feel attacked when someone calls me “crazy or aggressive ” when I’m passionate about something and I choose to address a subject. It has almost become hurtful and makes us feel ( or me for that matter ) that I have to hide my feelings or not say how I truly feel just so i’m not judged or called names. I don’t believe anyone stops and thinks about how we feel, the types of hearts we have or take into consideration the fact that we have acquired behaviors in our lifetime that have caused us to CONSTANTLY be in defense of ourselves. I believe that no one takes the time to say ” let me listen to this woman to understand her hurts, pains or even her joys.” Just to grasp an UNDERSTANDING of the person we are on the inside. We are so used to being undervalued and treated as if we aren’t good enough that we get damn tired. We get tired of being called names and made to feel as if we should just roll over and let men or anyone in this case speak to us any way and we are to just submit and be quiet.
I have come to realize that in most cases it has nothing to do with the woman and her mannerisms but the person that message is being delivered to. They can’t handle the fact that someone is willing to call them on things others may not or the fact that we are stern about how we feel and DEMAND to be treated in a certain manner. Doesn’t make us angry, or bitter or any negative thing. It only means that we are demanding things that cant be offered and the other person is 1. unwilling to meet the requirements that are being implemented or 2. the are not secure enough with themselves to handle the outspoken ways of a black woman. Sadly enough the most ridicule comes from our our own Black men. Most (but not all) Black men feel that the Black woman is less valuable than other races of women. I can speak for ALL Black women when I that it’s HURTFUL to feel that the men we call fathers, brothers, sons and friends feel this way about us. We hold black men to such a high standard and protect them and cater to them and we cant have the same in return and it’s terrible. Its a damn shame that we as a Black community can’t speak highly of one another and build each other up or protect the value of one another. Other races look at the self hate and devaluing of each other we do on a daily basis and it needs to be stopped. We need to learn to respect each other, love one another so that other races can do the same. Maybe then the Black women wouldn’t have to be so strong, defend themselves, and feel secure knowing that a Black man or ALL men will respect them the way they deserve. We need to know that someone has our backs and will protect us from harm and harmful words.
To my Black QUEENS! SPEAK YOUR TRUTH! Continue to demand your respect, continue to hold your heads high. Don’t feel bad because your strength awakens insecurities within others. Continue to be who you are because there is someone, somewhere who will take you as you are, listen to your truths and protect you in all ways, ALWAYS!