Blog

Envious BAE!!

I’ve come to realize that your spouse being jealous of you is a REAL THING ! I mean think about it ! Have you ever been in the middle of a real glow up and the first person you want to give the good news to is your love . And the first thing out their mouth is the total opposite of excitement ? Or a dry response like ” that’s nice ”

Even the times you have such amazing ideas that you expect the world to look at you crazy for and you assume you can tell your partner and all they have to say is ” no, you can’t do that ” But WHY? Where does the jealousy come from and why wouldn’t the closest person to you celebrate you and all that you have going on ? In my opinion it’s envious behavior!

It’s no different from an outsider or a “hater” trying to downplay your abilities to make themselves feel or look better than you . They want to  put the bug in your ear or fill your head with discouraging thoughts. It’s because they simply feel that they don’t have the abilities to exceed as much as you have ! Instead of being supportive , being happy or proud to say that my man/woman is doing big things and maybe it’s just not my moment   And it’s OK to take turns being in the spot light !105

Having a partner who is resilient, intelligent and hardworking shouldn’t be intimidating. Those things should make you want to step your game up and do better ! Not bring them down because you’re afraid to grow! I know often times the male ego gets in the way of the big picture ! Certain men believe that because they ” wear the pants ” that they should be the one in the lime light ! And that their woman should never outshine them because they feel less than. And I’m sorry my success gone rub you wrong til you step it up !!

Yet, taking away the excitement of someone else for your own personal reasons is so selfish and it’s beyond hurtful! Why would anyone want to maintain a relationship with someone who isn’t growing or flourishing! Personally I love to see those around me doing well and happy. I love knowing that the person I love is doing big things so I can show the world I get to lay next to a boss every night! It makes me proud to see my partner win !

I feel that many of us have experienced a jealous ex and had no idea what the signs were . But play close attention to people who say they love you and want to see you happy but don’t show it in their actions

STOP calling people CRAZY!!

Its been an on going pet peeve of mine when someone voices their deepest feelings or their truth to someone and the only response they get is disregard and called crazy! I think its the most disrespectful thing next to being called a bitch ! I’m not saying that it can’t be said in good fun. I know we all have that crazy friend who says the most hilarious things in the worst situations. This is a little bit different than that.

These are the  moments when you go to your spouse and tell him/her that you may be having some sort of feelings or just need a bit of reassurance because we all do sometimes. Then the only response they have for you is , ” your tripping or your crazy.” Even family members that feel you have been such a nice person for so long that they can pick and poke with you until you finally snap on them. And what do you know, you’ve become the ” crazy or bipolar” person in the family. 62143616_1199116486936546_522513055372804096_n

Then trying to sit and explain that maybe they should use better choice words when speaking to you becomes a joke. As if you aren’t entitled to set boundaries on the things that your being called or how you chose to be spoken to. I feel that it’s so saddening that you may not know what people are going through deep down. Maybe  being called crazy is hurtful because someone feels that they are never heard or taken seriously when it comes to their feelings. Maybe they have gone through something traumatic and their perception of things and people are tainted and being called crazy triggers unresolved feelings.

We live in a generation that claims to be about self care and filled with those who want to take strides on mental health. The first step is understanding peoples thoughts and feelings even if they aren’t  your same feelings or you don’t agree with them. It’s all about being mindful and respectful to someones feelings. Listen when someone speaks, try to understand and if you can’t handle the responsibility of being understanding don’t fix your mouth to call ANYONE crazy!

Cocky, Yet Humble !

I know its been a short while since I have done a blog (Please forgive me ) BUT I haven’t really had much to talk about. Until recently I have started to pay more attention to things people say when it comes to being humble or boasting about your accomplishments.

Everyone somehow seems to feel that being proud of yourself is some how being cocky. That it should not be done because it makes someone who hasn’t reached their peek feel some type of way . That every accomplishment you reach should be kept a secret. BUT FOR WHAT ?! Why am I accommodating the egos of others? Why do I have to feel ashamed of saying I’m proud of myself or allowing others to know the things that I have done with great pride ? We don’t get upset with rappers and singers flashing their name brands and jewelry around. So who says that being proud isn’t the way ?

x99r3319I feel like for anyone who has maybe had a rough start in their  careers or just now deciding to go back to school , or just started a business has the right to be happy for themselves and to be proud !

I say this because I have found myself for many years helping others achieve their goals and being the biggest cheerleader. And while doing so I have never had an ounce of envy. My first thought was always to ask myself ; who is in my corner to be supportive as I take my leap of faith and fulfill my purpose. How do I get to the place that will make me proud of ME! I have published three books in less than a years time. From the first yep-i-did-thatrelease of my book I got an amazing amount of feedback and support and I never really took into consideration the fact that I AM AN AUTHOR. My words, and thoughts and feelings are at the fingertips of those who know me personally and those who may never meet me in their life. Yet, I held my excitement in because naturally I still did not feel as though this was such a major accomplishment compared to others. Then I released my second and third book back to back. Then releasing two small brands of clothing.

Then it finally dawned on me that I have the right to be proud of myself. I have the right to say this was my journey to these small successes and there will only be more things to come for me in the future. I found that me finally saying that “I’m here, I’ve done this,” and still being HUMBLE enough to help others has set me apart from the ” cocky” stereotype. I think its imperative that women or anyone for that matter take their accomplishments with great pride because only we know the journey it took in order to get there.

Mamiana

Whew Chile ! After 39 weeks of what has been my most frustrating pregnancy ever; my little bundle of joy is finally here ! Baby TJ came in at 8 pounds, and 20 inches long ! At 8:26pm on March 9, 2019!! And boy am I happier than ever that he’s finally here ! I had sort of a struggle with my pregnancy. But the real Battle begins. us

When I was about 20 weeks pregnant we found out that our son suffers from Renal Agenesis ! This is a condition where one or both of the kidneys do not develop in the uterus. My son happens to have only the right kidney. ! At first the diagnosis threw me for a loop. I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong, and why God would do such a thing to my son. He’s an innocent baby and he deserved to live a full life with no limitations. After his birth I instantly went into panic mode ! Wondering how could I handle his condition and not make him feel disabled. Then I had to sit and have a conversation with God, and realize that he blessed me with this child because he knew that I could handle anything ; in order for him to live his life to the fullest. And I would ensure that he had all he needed to feel just as normal as any other kids. But what is normal any way?! As much as this makes me panic as a mother I know that nothing but good can come of this situation and he is here to teach me something about life. I am thankful for my son and the journey we have ahead of us.

Being a new ..But old mommy definitely has its ups and downs. I went right back into the only thing I know. Taking care of the precious little one but of course I have to be sure not to lose focus on myself. A lot of mommies will forget they need to eat or even shower. My goal is to ensure that I do not fall into a place of forgetting that I too am important in the birth of my newest addition and if I am not OK he wont be OK. mamiana Officially one week after giving birth I have been so worried about getting my figure back and just having that ” normal” feeling. I just have to remind myself that it takes time and not to be so hard on myself. So for all of those moms out there be sure to take the time you need for yourself even if its just a hot cup of coffee in the morning or a warm bubble bath. Take care of YOU !

BUT on a lighter note I have a few things to share ! I will be hosting my book signing event April 13, 2019. At Chaise Lounge !! For those of you wanting to attend, mingle with ME, hear some of my poetry and of course get those books signed be sure to RSVP . I am really excited to be up close and personal with those of you who have purchased my books and who have supported me since day one. pink flyer

Also , I will be attending an ALL WHITE event hosted by my good friend Melaysia ! The event will be June 22nd! It is a free event that will show case local Authors such as myself, artists, performances and so much more. Be sure to RSVP and come show your support ! And for those of you who don’t know she is also an amazing Author of: Butterfly A Collection of Poetry 

41tt+esOiiL        all white flyer

 

Be sure to also Grab your copies of my Books they are all available on Amazon.  For those of you Kindle users you can read them all FREE !!!

“Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe”

“Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe: Unveiled “

” Affirmed Queen: A book of Affirmations for the Woman in Healing”

Come Celebrate!!!

Today I have Released my Third Book ! ” Affirmed Queen “! I am so excited for all of the support and that has come my way and the amazing feed back ! I have finally Decided to have a Book signing to not only celebrate the release of this book But my two Poetry books as well !

The event will be held:

Chaise Lounge

1330 H. Street

Sacramento , CA 95814

Saturday , April 13, 2019

4:00pm- 7:00pm

I have added the Link for R.S.V. P

In order to guarantee your entry please click the ” register” button and it will allow you to reserve your spot through the door.

I hope to see you there !!

pink flyer

Affirmed Queen Book Signing

Affirmed Queen { Available March 1st}

Affirmed Queen: Book Of Affirmations for the woman in Healing!

Affirmations, Writing Prompts, and Reflective Passages from ME; The Author

Growing older we as women start to wonder why it is we feel the way we feel. Why were sad , our lack of self-worth, or even the lack of trust we have in ourselves to make rational decisions without the assistance of others. Until way finally accept the fact that somewhere along the way all of our young days of making mistakes, not so good relationships and even our upbringing has a lot to do with the we view ourselves. We never really understand how or where to start. This is the same struggle I had with myself. So I decided to take the time to share some of the steps I took to self myself for self healing and acceptance.

AFFIRMATIONS

Affirmation : ” The act or process of affirming something or being AFFIRMED “

I chose affirmations for myself and this book because simply it works. It’s a process of changing your mind-frame and the way we process how we see and feel about our-self. Taking the time to flush out negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with positive things and build self-esteem.

Reflective Passages 

I took the time to insert letters, questions and feelings on my personal feelings. The way that I felt before and during my process of healing. How I handled certain things and situations as they came at me and simply invite the readers to understand that they are not alone and we all struggle and its OK to not always be OK!

Writing Prompts

Writing in a Journal or even writing myself little notes have become a form of healing. I feel if i get the negative thoughts out on paper they are removed from my mind and I have the space to ask myself why i feel this way and what can I do moving forward to change it. I entered pages in hopes that self reflection will allow my readers to learn to be vocal ( in  a sense) about how they are feeling.

 

With this book I only hope that women understand how important it is to love themselves. To understand that loving themselves allows us to understand how to teach others to love us in the way we need. Not in the manner they feel we deserve. 

Affirm your QUEENDOM!

To You, From V ( My letter to ” ME”)

This letter was the hardest  to write, and written over a few months time. I had a very difficult year 2017 and I felt like all the things that I assumed I had over come started to pop up out of no where. My hurt from a relationship, feeling unworthy of someones love, and feeling over all out of place in this world. I talked to God over and over about helping me figure out what I needed to do to see ME! To love ME. And he told me simply I needed to stop being afraid of my own greatness. The love I was looking for I already had within myself. The feelings of unworthiness came from carrying around the baggage of past lovers and friends who were not worthy of ME! He told me to forgive myself.

image1 (1)

The moment I forgave myself I had everything I needed. I accepted that yes, I was a flawed woman, nor was I perfect, definitely made mistakes and I am still all that I ever needed. I am the Prize no matter how some may see me or feel about me. I cant allow the perception of others dictate the way I handle my worth. This letter still sits in my dresser as a reminder of where I have been. And every so often the plan is to update it and eventually leave them behind for my daughters to read. In order for them to understand that their mother struggled also but its the way I got up from everything that knocked me down that made me V!