What the F*** Now!

Hey Guys ,it been almost 2 months since I had a Blog. SOOORRRRY ! BUT not sorry. I have been trying to catch up with what now is my reality and truly how to handle it all as it comes. I have been trying to learn ways to keep myself organized as an Author, continuing to learn how to run a successful business and find the time to complete my novel.

All of these things literally thrown at me in the span of a years time.  Four books and keeping myself innovative in an ever so changing business and finally accomplishing my first step in making a name for myself . I had to stop and ask ” What the F*** now?”

What do I do with myself, and how do I continue to accomplish the goals that I set for myself when all I want to do is drink a glass of wine and take a nap. And sadly experiencing my first experience with a ” hater” in the business has all be such an overwhelming experience. I never knew how much would come my way with just following my passion. As exciting as its been I have become discouraged in many aspects. Writing a novel or telling ” my story” in other words has become challenging and I am not sure If I can do it. Experiencing business sabotage from my peers. It has left me wanting to stop everything that I have worked so hard for. I did not sign up to have bullshit coming my way from doing the thing that I love the most, and I for sure don’t want to put out work that isn’t good enough for at least one reader. I have even debated so heavily leaving my job before I return from my maternity leave.

But then I asked myself the question again. WHAT THE FUCK NOW!e001a9a1-e272-47a5-a01a-b2cd40ceefdd Then I had to give myself a pep talk ! Remind myself that I am a mother of six, an Author of FOUR books that took my blood, sweat, and tears to accomplish. Let myself know that it took me 31 years of bullshit jobs, bad relationships, bad decisions, and countless career changes in order for me to find my true calling. So whats next is I pick my head up, I continue to speak my truth, spread my imaginative thoughts to others and I write my ass off until I have  become a best selling Author. And only THEN will I be able to have that glass of wine ( or a few) and my much needed nap.

 

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Tainted Soil

I’m pleased to announce that my Fourth Poetry book ” Tainted Soil” is officially here!!!

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It took me sometime to find the right words to say, the feelings to feel or even the words to put down on my paper. Trying to find myself again after the birth of my son and working through Symptoms of Postpartum Depression; I decided that I wouldn’t allow the aftershock of my son or my insecurities take control of me or my purpose. I had to coach myself through my feelings and my words to figure out how to express my thoughts. I sat with myself for weeks and focused on the things that I was feeling and needed someone to understand. And then I birthed my fourth baby.

I am so thankful for all of the love and continued support that I have been receiving . From events, to my Blogs, poetry and books. It means the world to me. I still feel like a small time gal trying to make big dreams come true and I just hope that you all continue to follow me on this journey to BEST SELLING AUTHOR !

I’m Manifesting that shit HAHA

I have left the link below for purchase. And for those of you who do PLEASE PLEASE leave your reviews. 50+ reviews puts me on Amazon’s ” Suggested read list and allows me to reach a wider audience. Thanks in advance  -V

 

Tainted Soil !!

Cocky, Yet Humble !

I know its been a short while since I have done a blog (Please forgive me ) BUT I haven’t really had much to talk about. Until recently I have started to pay more attention to things people say when it comes to being humble or boasting about your accomplishments.

Everyone somehow seems to feel that being proud of yourself is some how being cocky. That it should not be done because it makes someone who hasn’t reached their peek feel some type of way . That every accomplishment you reach should be kept a secret. BUT FOR WHAT ?! Why am I accommodating the egos of others? Why do I have to feel ashamed of saying I’m proud of myself or allowing others to know the things that I have done with great pride ? We don’t get upset with rappers and singers flashing their name brands and jewelry around. So who says that being proud isn’t the way ?

x99r3319I feel like for anyone who has maybe had a rough start in their  careers or just now deciding to go back to school , or just started a business has the right to be happy for themselves and to be proud !

I say this because I have found myself for many years helping others achieve their goals and being the biggest cheerleader. And while doing so I have never had an ounce of envy. My first thought was always to ask myself ; who is in my corner to be supportive as I take my leap of faith and fulfill my purpose. How do I get to the place that will make me proud of ME! I have published three books in less than a years time. From the first yep-i-did-thatrelease of my book I got an amazing amount of feedback and support and I never really took into consideration the fact that I AM AN AUTHOR. My words, and thoughts and feelings are at the fingertips of those who know me personally and those who may never meet me in their life. Yet, I held my excitement in because naturally I still did not feel as though this was such a major accomplishment compared to others. Then I released my second and third book back to back. Then releasing two small brands of clothing.

Then it finally dawned on me that I have the right to be proud of myself. I have the right to say this was my journey to these small successes and there will only be more things to come for me in the future. I found that me finally saying that “I’m here, I’ve done this,” and still being HUMBLE enough to help others has set me apart from the ” cocky” stereotype. I think its imperative that women or anyone for that matter take their accomplishments with great pride because only we know the journey it took in order to get there.

Come Celebrate!!!

Today I have Released my Third Book ! ” Affirmed Queen “! I am so excited for all of the support and that has come my way and the amazing feed back ! I have finally Decided to have a Book signing to not only celebrate the release of this book But my two Poetry books as well !

The event will be held:

Chaise Lounge

1330 H. Street

Sacramento , CA 95814

Saturday , April 13, 2019

4:00pm- 7:00pm

I have added the Link for R.S.V. P

In order to guarantee your entry please click the ” register” button and it will allow you to reserve your spot through the door.

I hope to see you there !!

pink flyer

Affirmed Queen Book Signing

Affirmed Queen { Available March 1st}

Affirmed Queen: Book Of Affirmations for the woman in Healing!

Affirmations, Writing Prompts, and Reflective Passages from ME; The Author

Growing older we as women start to wonder why it is we feel the way we feel. Why were sad , our lack of self-worth, or even the lack of trust we have in ourselves to make rational decisions without the assistance of others. Until way finally accept the fact that somewhere along the way all of our young days of making mistakes, not so good relationships and even our upbringing has a lot to do with the we view ourselves. We never really understand how or where to start. This is the same struggle I had with myself. So I decided to take the time to share some of the steps I took to self myself for self healing and acceptance.

AFFIRMATIONS

Affirmation : ” The act or process of affirming something or being AFFIRMED “

I chose affirmations for myself and this book because simply it works. It’s a process of changing your mind-frame and the way we process how we see and feel about our-self. Taking the time to flush out negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with positive things and build self-esteem.

Reflective Passages 

I took the time to insert letters, questions and feelings on my personal feelings. The way that I felt before and during my process of healing. How I handled certain things and situations as they came at me and simply invite the readers to understand that they are not alone and we all struggle and its OK to not always be OK!

Writing Prompts

Writing in a Journal or even writing myself little notes have become a form of healing. I feel if i get the negative thoughts out on paper they are removed from my mind and I have the space to ask myself why i feel this way and what can I do moving forward to change it. I entered pages in hopes that self reflection will allow my readers to learn to be vocal ( in  a sense) about how they are feeling.

 

With this book I only hope that women understand how important it is to love themselves. To understand that loving themselves allows us to understand how to teach others to love us in the way we need. Not in the manner they feel we deserve. 

Affirm your QUEENDOM!

To you, From V (My letter to Him)

Happy Monday!! The second letter in my series; is a letter I wrote in light of my own personal turmoil ! I was in a situation with people I felt were friends. I felt “safe” and come to find out I wasn’t. I was sexually assaulted. I woke up confused and the person responsible acted as if everything was OK and he had done nothing. Of course shameful and not clearly grasping what  happened to me I kept the incident to myself. (As many survivors of assault do.) I had to learn to forgive someone who was not sorry for their actions, forgive myself for being shameful for something that I was not responsible for , and pray for Mercy upon this person.

him

With this letter my goal was to face reality and fully accept things for what they were. It has taught me to be cautious in all situations and be mindful who I call friends. My hopes with sharing this letter is that other woman confront the things that have happened to them and be able to forgive those who have done them harm , for themselves , and continue to pray mercy for those who will need it.

 

RAINN

To you, From V ( My letter to ” YOU”)

In my recent book release ” Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe: Unveiled,”  I Opened up about many subjects. I figure why not tell my story the best way I knew how. Through my writing. People would take the time to know a more intimate me or they would look right past. The end of my book covers letters that I have written to parts of my past, my current situations , and what I hope to gain int he future. Telling a vivid story of the sexual assault I endured, making peace with leaving my father out of my life for good, loving unconditionally, and finally making peace with myself.  Overall finding the courage to burn the letters and let go of all the things I felt accountable for holding me back, and my choice to lift myself up into a higher light.

The first letter to ” you” covers simply how I thank someone I love. How they have helped me to see many thing about myself and my life in such a short time and how grateful I am to have encountered such and individual.

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What I hope to cover is the meaning behind each of my letters in more detail. Only hoping that someone can see how taking the time to be honest with yourself, others and even forgive those who will never be sorry for the things they have done.

Please Take these letters a start to your own start to healing and understanding “YOU”