Tainted Soil

I’m pleased to announce that my Fourth Poetry book ” Tainted Soil” is officially here!!!

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It took me sometime to find the right words to say, the feelings to feel or even the words to put down on my paper. Trying to find myself again after the birth of my son and working through Symptoms of Postpartum Depression; I decided that I wouldn’t allow the aftershock of my son or my insecurities take control of me or my purpose. I had to coach myself through my feelings and my words to figure out how to express my thoughts. I sat with myself for weeks and focused on the things that I was feeling and needed someone to understand. And then I birthed my fourth baby.

I am so thankful for all of the love and continued support that I have been receiving . From events, to my Blogs, poetry and books. It means the world to me. I still feel like a small time gal trying to make big dreams come true and I just hope that you all continue to follow me on this journey to BEST SELLING AUTHOR !

I’m Manifesting that shit HAHA

I have left the link below for purchase. And for those of you who do PLEASE PLEASE leave your reviews. 50+ reviews puts me on Amazon’s ” Suggested read list and allows me to reach a wider audience. Thanks in advance  -V

 

Tainted Soil !!

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Mamiana

Whew Chile ! After 39 weeks of what has been my most frustrating pregnancy ever; my little bundle of joy is finally here ! Baby TJ came in at 8 pounds, and 20 inches long ! At 8:26pm on March 9, 2019!! And boy am I happier than ever that he’s finally here ! I had sort of a struggle with my pregnancy. But the real Battle begins. us

When I was about 20 weeks pregnant we found out that our son suffers from Renal Agenesis ! This is a condition where one or both of the kidneys do not develop in the uterus. My son happens to have only the right kidney. ! At first the diagnosis threw me for a loop. I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong, and why God would do such a thing to my son. He’s an innocent baby and he deserved to live a full life with no limitations. After his birth I instantly went into panic mode ! Wondering how could I handle his condition and not make him feel disabled. Then I had to sit and have a conversation with God, and realize that he blessed me with this child because he knew that I could handle anything ; in order for him to live his life to the fullest. And I would ensure that he had all he needed to feel just as normal as any other kids. But what is normal any way?! As much as this makes me panic as a mother I know that nothing but good can come of this situation and he is here to teach me something about life. I am thankful for my son and the journey we have ahead of us.

Being a new ..But old mommy definitely has its ups and downs. I went right back into the only thing I know. Taking care of the precious little one but of course I have to be sure not to lose focus on myself. A lot of mommies will forget they need to eat or even shower. My goal is to ensure that I do not fall into a place of forgetting that I too am important in the birth of my newest addition and if I am not OK he wont be OK. mamiana Officially one week after giving birth I have been so worried about getting my figure back and just having that ” normal” feeling. I just have to remind myself that it takes time and not to be so hard on myself. So for all of those moms out there be sure to take the time you need for yourself even if its just a hot cup of coffee in the morning or a warm bubble bath. Take care of YOU !

BUT on a lighter note I have a few things to share ! I will be hosting my book signing event April 13, 2019. At Chaise Lounge !! For those of you wanting to attend, mingle with ME, hear some of my poetry and of course get those books signed be sure to RSVP . I am really excited to be up close and personal with those of you who have purchased my books and who have supported me since day one. pink flyer

Also , I will be attending an ALL WHITE event hosted by my good friend Melaysia ! The event will be June 22nd! It is a free event that will show case local Authors such as myself, artists, performances and so much more. Be sure to RSVP and come show your support ! And for those of you who don’t know she is also an amazing Author of: Butterfly A Collection of Poetry 

41tt+esOiiL        all white flyer

 

Be sure to also Grab your copies of my Books they are all available on Amazon.  For those of you Kindle users you can read them all FREE !!!

“Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe”

“Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe: Unveiled “

” Affirmed Queen: A book of Affirmations for the Woman in Healing”

Come Celebrate!!!

Today I have Released my Third Book ! ” Affirmed Queen “! I am so excited for all of the support and that has come my way and the amazing feed back ! I have finally Decided to have a Book signing to not only celebrate the release of this book But my two Poetry books as well !

The event will be held:

Chaise Lounge

1330 H. Street

Sacramento , CA 95814

Saturday , April 13, 2019

4:00pm- 7:00pm

I have added the Link for R.S.V. P

In order to guarantee your entry please click the ” register” button and it will allow you to reserve your spot through the door.

I hope to see you there !!

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Affirmed Queen Book Signing

Affirmed Queen { Available March 1st}

Affirmed Queen: Book Of Affirmations for the woman in Healing!

Affirmations, Writing Prompts, and Reflective Passages from ME; The Author

Growing older we as women start to wonder why it is we feel the way we feel. Why were sad , our lack of self-worth, or even the lack of trust we have in ourselves to make rational decisions without the assistance of others. Until way finally accept the fact that somewhere along the way all of our young days of making mistakes, not so good relationships and even our upbringing has a lot to do with the we view ourselves. We never really understand how or where to start. This is the same struggle I had with myself. So I decided to take the time to share some of the steps I took to self myself for self healing and acceptance.

AFFIRMATIONS

Affirmation : ” The act or process of affirming something or being AFFIRMED “

I chose affirmations for myself and this book because simply it works. It’s a process of changing your mind-frame and the way we process how we see and feel about our-self. Taking the time to flush out negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with positive things and build self-esteem.

Reflective Passages 

I took the time to insert letters, questions and feelings on my personal feelings. The way that I felt before and during my process of healing. How I handled certain things and situations as they came at me and simply invite the readers to understand that they are not alone and we all struggle and its OK to not always be OK!

Writing Prompts

Writing in a Journal or even writing myself little notes have become a form of healing. I feel if i get the negative thoughts out on paper they are removed from my mind and I have the space to ask myself why i feel this way and what can I do moving forward to change it. I entered pages in hopes that self reflection will allow my readers to learn to be vocal ( in  a sense) about how they are feeling.

 

With this book I only hope that women understand how important it is to love themselves. To understand that loving themselves allows us to understand how to teach others to love us in the way we need. Not in the manner they feel we deserve. 

Affirm your QUEENDOM!

Happy Birthday : Chapter 31

Happy New Year !

Welcome to 2019; a new slate of 365 new days of opportunities. As we enter a new year there are so many things that I’m happy to say that I’ve left behind. Toxic Friendships, bad personal habits that have taken me years to overcome and most of all the self-doubt I have carried when it comes to my ideas and crafts.

January 10, 2019, HAPPPPYYY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE ! Today is my 31st birthday and I’m happy to start this newest chapter in my life. What’s even more exciting is today is the release of my SECOND … yes SECOND book Release. It is Volume 2 of my Collection: “Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe: Unveiled.” I am overjoyed to have so many people’s support on doing what makes me happy. I have shared a bit of myself on each page. Covering areas of my love, heart breaks , betrayal and my overall road to being content in happiness. release19This Collection was a bit more challenging for me to write because I was very personal with my subjects and of course there is always the fear of the judgement from others. My goal with my poetry collection is to encourage and be a voice to someone who hasn’t yet found their way. My collection, Vol I& II are available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble And of course my Publishing outlet ; Black Eden Publications.

In Even Better news I’m Proud to introduce my personal line of merchandise; “Honeyz Drips“. For the woman Dipped in all shades Melanin! I’ve branded a collection geared toward quotes of encouragement. I hope you all check it out; along with my First Line Of Apparel SwampzENT that will relaunch in of Spring 2019. For our amazing supporters who have been patiently waiting ! We definitely have things in store for you. img_8485

I’m very pleased to share ( for those of you who don’t already know) I have Joined an amazing team of writers. All women of color with such amazing back grounds in Blogging, Podcasts, Editing , even a few published Authors. Along with so much more. The platform is called Queen Media Collective.img_8479 You are definitely missing out if you haven’t checked them out ! If have Five Articles Posted currently entitled:

  • ” Why will be support people we don’t know before we support our own friends”
  • ” Scared of my own Potential
  • ” The Secret is out” ( Anonymous interview on sexual Assault
  • ” Dating ans the Single Mother: Is she worthy”
  • ” Single Mothers and Teenage Boys”

It’s just the beginning so pleased stay connected with all the things that we as a team have in store for you.

January 19th I hope that you’ll all Join me and so many other talented local artists               ( Those of you in or close to the Sacramento , CA Area). We have an amazing Event ” The  Sound Of Art”.img_8372 A platform for local artists and vendors to display their art, poetry, music and more. This event wouldn’t be possible without the Talented John’Nay Lasha. So I would personally like to thank her for the opportunity to be in a room filled with such amazing Up and coming talents.

And Last but not least My little Man will be here So SOON! Already being a mother, I felt like I’ve had this under control. But things are so much easier when your baby is still in the womb ( aha ). I am so excited to see his little face. And plan to share much more of his journey with you all when he arrives.

Heres to and amazing start to 2019! It’s going to be an amazing year for not only myself but you all as well. SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE.

 

Under A Reaper’s Robe!

Many people have asked me to break down the title of my book. There are a couple reasons it came about. Starting with turning 30 I realized I had no clue what to do with my life. What my passion was or even what I was good at. And all the while my greatest passion was sitting in all of my diaries over the years. I’ve always had a passion for writing because I have never been very good with speaking or expressing my inner feelings verbally. I never understood the power of sharing your testimony would be the way to heal yourself and give others to courage to heal themselves. This book and its inspiration came from many journal entries of mine over the past year. Not Just my own personal experiences but from others around me and just thoughts I’ve had about certain subjects.book My goal with this was to first see if I could accomplish my goal of becoming a published author, take in the feedback that I was given and change at least one persons out look on their life and decision to heal.  The title itself came from a conversation I had with my daughters father where he told me that when I get upset I be come a ” Grim Reaper.”  That’s when i had to take a step back and realize I did turn into a person who was very “soul snatching” when I was angry. But my heart was soft as a Rose Petals. It made me also realize that it is OK to be vulnerable, I don’t have to be tough all of the time and its easier to connect with others when you give your pure and defenseless self. Writing the things I have and now understanding how it has impacted others it made me realize that this is my passion and gift and that there will be NO STOPPING ME!

More than a Mother!

I never understood the unspoken rule of mothers. That we are to give our all to our children and nothing to ourselves. Its wrong if we want to take a minute to take care of ourselves, Read a book , or go back to school and follow our dreams. But I cant understand why? Why cant we do things that make us happy without looking like bad mothers or being criticized for taking the initiative to be ourselves and mothers at the same time. il_fullxfull.1220692580_5n69I never wanted to be the mother that lived only for the wants and needs of my children and wake up one day and have nothing to look back on. Nothing to say that i’m proud of myself for. Or worse not showing my kids what hard work and dedication to bettering yourself looks like. Its difficult for mothers to hear criticism regarding their choices in life and somehow it has become the norm. That the woman take the fault for doing what it is that makes them happy While the fathers get the leeway to do whatever they like and take the time they need in order to get their careers together for the family. I for one don’t agree with that and never will . I am a woman and mother who feels that I am ME first and then I am a mother, daughter, and friend. I feel that its okay for me to go after my dreams and take time for myself . Quite frankly , how can I be the best mother I can be if I can’t take the time to take care of myself ?

Most people will say ” you had kids you gave up having a life when you had your children.” WRONG! My life just began the moment we become mothers . We look at the world differently , we have an unconditional love , and someone looking to us like super hero’s ! Our jobs are to teach our children that self care is what should be promoted with being a mother . Showing our children that mommy is a business owner , a holder of multiple degrees or a Pillar of the community making a difference . Not just someone who wipes tears and packs lunches . This isn’t to say that stay at home mothers or mothers who dedicate their lives to taking care of their children shouldn’t be celebrated but there aredownload so many things women are capable of . We are the epitome of strength and perseverance so why should we ONLY hold the title of ” Mother.”

I have had so many bad things said about me personally because I chose to go to school and pursue my education which took me away from dinners or sports games of my children. BUT my children understood yes I am making sacrifices for things and moments that are precious that I can’t get back but I’m making a way for bigger memories and moments to come . I think it’s healthy for children to understand the life of a mother , the things we go through and how much of the hard work we put into making ourselves better people. All for us to know they are proud of us ! Proud of us for doing what’s best for them , proud of us for paving a way for them to follow their dreams without conditions and proud of themselves for being understanding of all the things their mothers are capable of . I grew up in a single parent home, my mother worked many jobs to provide for us and we had any and everything we needed and wanted but she didn’t do much for herself. Watching her I was proud. IMG_5436I made it a point to make sure I did things that made me happy, I took time for myself to learn new things , go to school , I wrote a book and I can say I have started to define myself not only as a mother of five beautiful children I get to call my own but I get to be VONTRESS!

I get to show my daughters that the world has so many wonderful things to offer and they can have any and everything they put their minds and hard work into. I get to show my sons that women are more than someone who is going to cook the meals and wash their clothes. They can be anything they want to be and still hold the humble title and most fulfilling title of all ” MOM.”

 

 

 

” How can I be myself if everything I want I can’t be? To succeed, be a better me, or An amazing woman with accomplished goals. Or to be defined for who I AM and what I can do outside of being just a Mother, a Daughter or a Friend? Is it a bad thing that that I want to Be ME. A woman of great strength , intelligence and perseverance. and Then add the other amazing titles to my name? How can I be a better mother if I can’t show my children my ability to fly? How how can I be a friend if I cant offer my best self? and How can I be a daughter if I cant make my parents proud?” –Vontress R. Ortega