Viva La Honey V.

Whew it was a weekend. I spent my 32nd birthday in Las Vegas. For something this isn’t anything major and to be honest I could not see what all the hype was about but I enjoyed myself. I seen new things and new people but overall I got a new perspective on the things that I need to work on changing in the upcoming year.

 

I need to learn to let loose more. I am always such a planner and I have to have everything planned and organized and it truly takes the fun out of just simply living. I am always caught up in the next thing that I cant see right in front of me and the things that I should be cherishing. The fact that I wake up in the morning and have one more day to make something of myself, the fact that my children are growing into such amazing little human beings, I have a home, a job, a car and I have accomplished so many things in such a short time that I should be so much more grateful that I am.

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I know that deep down we all try to remain humble because we know at anytime things could change and that feeling consumes me on a day to day basis. Five years ago I was in the worse place of my life, no car, homeless , and hungry and to build my self back up to the place that I am today. I am so determined to never go back to that, I constantly worry about everything and I have become such an uptight person to others when that is not who I truly am.

This trip ( even though it was only 4 days long ) taught me that it is OK to live a little. I can have some fun, stick my feet in the sand and have a drink or two! There is nothing wrong with enjoying the things that I worked hard for. Its OK for Stella to get her groove back once in a while, to have time away from responsibilities and to just overall recharge.

IN OTHER NEWS !!! 

January 5th I released my FIFTH book “The Sun Under a Night Sky” and had the Bookiversary to my Second book ” Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe : Unveiled” on my birthday. It is such an overwhelming feeling and I feel like I am content in my purpose. I have found something that I love, and that I am naturally good at. I can’t wait to share with you the rest of the things that I have in store for myself for the rest of the year.

 

 

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The Sun Under a Night Sky

Yesterday was the release of my FIFTH book ! Words can’t explain the fear , excitement and accomplishment I feel. 2019 was a LONG year for me but I decided that I would put all of my words , feelings , tears and deepest thoughts into my book. I was blessed enough to find an amazing publisher who taught me so much that I took a chance and chose to learn to self publish ! Learn how to be more in control of my work and have full ownership of my hard work!

I took a leap of faith and I accomplished my goal ! It was not the easiest thing but I researched and took my time to perfect what I chose to put out into the world , but my biggest accomplishment was trusting myself. Trusting that I could accomplish my goal and set the tone of self sufficiency for myself .

For so long I struggled with trusting myself and this was one of the many times that I had to understand that my thoughts and my ideas were just as good as anyone else. It was up to me to take the chance and I am proud to say that I did.  

The title of my book came from the goal of true transformation. Learning who I am, accepting the best parts of me and appreciating that the flaws were also who made. It is the idea that even in the dark we can and will continue to shine and grow as long as we are willing. 

The Sun Under a Night Sky

 You are the sun and the center of your universe.

In this collection of untitled thoughts, poetry, and affirmations; Vontress plants her powerful feminine energy and wisdom like a seed. Showing growth through struggle, and sharing stories of blooming into a flower. She shines her light like the sun into the darkest parts of her soul.

 

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Hello Tranquility!

New year ! And Same me! But more knowledgeable for sure ! 2019 was such a headache for me; it almost broke me but here I stand ! I had my share of disappointments , separated myself from what I found to be toxic to my growth , made mistakes , learned lessons , and got my heart broken on a number of occasions, and I couldn’t understand WHYYYY!

How were these things happening to me when I was doing MY BEST to be open , honest , kinds , helpful and forgiving. How was I walking around with a smile but I was not feeling any peace within. How was I giving love I wasn’t receiving or allowing friends to unload their emotions on me but I couldn’t call them just to say “ hey” without being ignored. How was it I was busting my ass as a mother but I still felt like I was not good enough. IMG_0619

I broke down honestly , I had a moment I let every tear I had been holding within my spirit out, I screamed, and I kicked ! No literally I kicked my Christmas tree down ! I threw glass and I fell to my knees and prayed ! Oddly I asked God for the answers to my questions and the only response I got was “ it’s your time.” And me still feeling unsatisfied I decided that I had to ask myself why I was feeling so let down , so hurt , so unwanted , unloved , unseen and misused by those around me !

Then, Ah Ha I had an epiphany! It was no ones fault but mine why 2019 kicked my behind ! It was me I needed to blame for accepting less than, and selling myself short because I didn’t want to outshine those around. Only because they  couldn’t see what I saw in them. I was the reason I was hurting , giving things to people who wouldn’t do the same for me and I got up with a new outlook!

This year would be a fresh start ! I would use my voice and not just write how I felt on the pages of my books , I would be present in my passions and make the best of it. I would demand the things I give or I would show people the door if they only had intentions of capitalizing off what I could do for them. I would go for everything that I planned for myself even if I failed until I got it right ! I would improve the way that I talked to myself, I would write down my goals and become tunnel vision to any outside noise or negativity that would detour me from my mission.

When I accepted that I can’t save everyone before myself, that love is only what you make it , and I will only be as happy as I allow myself to be I found TRANQUILITY! 

I found peace in knowing that I had more control over how I felt than I gave myself credit for. I was in control of who stayed and went, I had the ability to demand a GOOD love from someone because I DESERVED it, and I didn’t have to maintain friendships based on the history that they held. Most of all I realized that I have been afraid to face who I have always been. The fear that had been holding me back for so long became the very thing that I needed to embrace in order to flourish in the New Year to come. 

I never make new years resolutions but this year I decided to learn more about me, and embrace the flaws I tend to hide and all while reminding myself that everything will be OK as long as i’m putting my best foot forward. So my hope for you , my readers, supporters, family and friends is that you learn to love your broken pieces, and love one another ! 

 

Happy New Year ! – V

Tainted Soil

I’m pleased to announce that my Fourth Poetry book ” Tainted Soil” is officially here!!!

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It took me sometime to find the right words to say, the feelings to feel or even the words to put down on my paper. Trying to find myself again after the birth of my son and working through Symptoms of Postpartum Depression; I decided that I wouldn’t allow the aftershock of my son or my insecurities take control of me or my purpose. I had to coach myself through my feelings and my words to figure out how to express my thoughts. I sat with myself for weeks and focused on the things that I was feeling and needed someone to understand. And then I birthed my fourth baby.

I am so thankful for all of the love and continued support that I have been receiving . From events, to my Blogs, poetry and books. It means the world to me. I still feel like a small time gal trying to make big dreams come true and I just hope that you all continue to follow me on this journey to BEST SELLING AUTHOR !

I’m Manifesting that shit HAHA

I have left the link below for purchase. And for those of you who do PLEASE PLEASE leave your reviews. 50+ reviews puts me on Amazon’s ” Suggested read list and allows me to reach a wider audience. Thanks in advance  -V

 

Tainted Soil !!

Mamiana

Whew Chile ! After 39 weeks of what has been my most frustrating pregnancy ever; my little bundle of joy is finally here ! Baby TJ came in at 8 pounds, and 20 inches long ! At 8:26pm on March 9, 2019!! And boy am I happier than ever that he’s finally here ! I had sort of a struggle with my pregnancy. But the real Battle begins. us

When I was about 20 weeks pregnant we found out that our son suffers from Renal Agenesis ! This is a condition where one or both of the kidneys do not develop in the uterus. My son happens to have only the right kidney. ! At first the diagnosis threw me for a loop. I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong, and why God would do such a thing to my son. He’s an innocent baby and he deserved to live a full life with no limitations. After his birth I instantly went into panic mode ! Wondering how could I handle his condition and not make him feel disabled. Then I had to sit and have a conversation with God, and realize that he blessed me with this child because he knew that I could handle anything ; in order for him to live his life to the fullest. And I would ensure that he had all he needed to feel just as normal as any other kids. But what is normal any way?! As much as this makes me panic as a mother I know that nothing but good can come of this situation and he is here to teach me something about life. I am thankful for my son and the journey we have ahead of us.

Being a new ..But old mommy definitely has its ups and downs. I went right back into the only thing I know. Taking care of the precious little one but of course I have to be sure not to lose focus on myself. A lot of mommies will forget they need to eat or even shower. My goal is to ensure that I do not fall into a place of forgetting that I too am important in the birth of my newest addition and if I am not OK he wont be OK. mamiana Officially one week after giving birth I have been so worried about getting my figure back and just having that ” normal” feeling. I just have to remind myself that it takes time and not to be so hard on myself. So for all of those moms out there be sure to take the time you need for yourself even if its just a hot cup of coffee in the morning or a warm bubble bath. Take care of YOU !

BUT on a lighter note I have a few things to share ! I will be hosting my book signing event April 13, 2019. At Chaise Lounge !! For those of you wanting to attend, mingle with ME, hear some of my poetry and of course get those books signed be sure to RSVP . I am really excited to be up close and personal with those of you who have purchased my books and who have supported me since day one. pink flyer

Also , I will be attending an ALL WHITE event hosted by my good friend Melaysia ! The event will be June 22nd! It is a free event that will show case local Authors such as myself, artists, performances and so much more. Be sure to RSVP and come show your support ! And for those of you who don’t know she is also an amazing Author of: Butterfly A Collection of Poetry 

41tt+esOiiL        all white flyer

 

Be sure to also Grab your copies of my Books they are all available on Amazon.  For those of you Kindle users you can read them all FREE !!!

“Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe”

“Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe: Unveiled “

” Affirmed Queen: A book of Affirmations for the Woman in Healing”