Affirmed Queen { Available March 1st}

Affirmed Queen: Book Of Affirmations for the woman in Healing!

Affirmations, Writing Prompts, and Reflective Passages from ME; The Author

Growing older we as women start to wonder why it is we feel the way we feel. Why were sad , our lack of self-worth, or even the lack of trust we have in ourselves to make rational decisions without the assistance of others. Until way finally accept the fact that somewhere along the way all of our young days of making mistakes, not so good relationships and even our upbringing has a lot to do with the we view ourselves. We never really understand how or where to start. This is the same struggle I had with myself. So I decided to take the time to share some of the steps I took to self myself for self healing and acceptance.

AFFIRMATIONS

Affirmation : ” The act or process of affirming something or being AFFIRMED “

I chose affirmations for myself and this book because simply it works. It’s a process of changing your mind-frame and the way we process how we see and feel about our-self. Taking the time to flush out negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with positive things and build self-esteem.

Reflective Passages 

I took the time to insert letters, questions and feelings on my personal feelings. The way that I felt before and during my process of healing. How I handled certain things and situations as they came at me and simply invite the readers to understand that they are not alone and we all struggle and its OK to not always be OK!

Writing Prompts

Writing in a Journal or even writing myself little notes have become a form of healing. I feel if i get the negative thoughts out on paper they are removed from my mind and I have the space to ask myself why i feel this way and what can I do moving forward to change it. I entered pages in hopes that self reflection will allow my readers to learn to be vocal ( in  a sense) about how they are feeling.

 

With this book I only hope that women understand how important it is to love themselves. To understand that loving themselves allows us to understand how to teach others to love us in the way we need. Not in the manner they feel we deserve. 

Affirm your QUEENDOM!

To You, From V ( My letter to ” ME”)

This letter was the hardest  to write, and written over a few months time. I had a very difficult year 2017 and I felt like all the things that I assumed I had over come started to pop up out of no where. My hurt from a relationship, feeling unworthy of someones love, and feeling over all out of place in this world. I talked to God over and over about helping me figure out what I needed to do to see ME! To love ME. And he told me simply I needed to stop being afraid of my own greatness. The love I was looking for I already had within myself. The feelings of unworthiness came from carrying around the baggage of past lovers and friends who were not worthy of ME! He told me to forgive myself.

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The moment I forgave myself I had everything I needed. I accepted that yes, I was a flawed woman, nor was I perfect, definitely made mistakes and I am still all that I ever needed. I am the Prize no matter how some may see me or feel about me. I cant allow the perception of others dictate the way I handle my worth. This letter still sits in my dresser as a reminder of where I have been. And every so often the plan is to update it and eventually leave them behind for my daughters to read. In order for them to understand that their mother struggled also but its the way I got up from everything that knocked me down that made me V!

To you, From V ( My letter to “My Father”)

The Fifth letter, of my “Letters in Healing” Series is to the person who gave me life. I definitely feel uncomfortable calling him “dad” just based on the simple fact that he wasn’t ever really a dad to me. I have had a off and on journey with him up until recently when I finally decided to just let him know how I truly felt about him and maintaining a dead relationship. I let him know I felt as though there was nothing that he could do for me besides be a grandfather to my children. Which his actions were just the same as him attempting to be a father to me. I let him know that for so many years I was angry with him for the things he lied about, the promises he made and didn’t keep and his lack of concern for me as his first born child. I blamed him for so many things that had gone wrong in my life with the thought, ” if you would have been here none of this would have happened.”  Until I finally realized he also was battling his own demons and sadly enough he wasn’t ready to be man enough to face them. Just as he was not man enough to be a father to me ! I think at times we walk around being so angry at people who we make obligated to do things for the sake of our well being and the fact is everyone is obligated to their demons and we are all on different journeys.

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Ultimately I made peace with not having a father in my life. I made peace with the fact that I turned out OK because my grandmothers prayers kept me safe and my mother sacrificed her life in order for me to have one of my own. I made peace with my hurt, my sadness, and embraced the peace I felt when I finally decided to cut ties with a man I felt was only toxic to my life and my children. I feel sometimes, ” fatherless” children hold on to so much pain from a person who was just not meant to be in their world. They hold on to what could be instead of what is. Never really understanding that sometimes peoples purpose in this world is not to be parents ; we just get caught in the cross fire. Everyone heals at their own pace and I know it took me a long time to accept the fact that I have only my mother and i’m OK with that. I’m OK with knowing that the one person who made herself available whenever I needed, wiped my tears , and raised me to be such a resilient woman remains here today all because she CHOSE the most fulfilling job of all and that was being a parent FIRST !! I chose to leave my father behind and not look back for the sake of ME! The relationship is not needed and to me he will always be a stranger bonded by blood. A stranger who missed out on the most amazing parts of my life. A stranger who should have been my Dad!

To my “Father” ! you are forgiven and i wish you many blessings to come !

To You, From V ( My letter to “HER”)

Welcome to the third letter in my ” Letters in Healing” Series. This letter was one that was difficult to write. There was one person that I harbored sooooo much anger toward. She made my skin crawl just to hear her name. I despised the thought of her. She had a part of my heart that I felt I would never get back. No , not from infidelities as many would imagine. Just an unfortunate situation that happened in the midst of space apart. Were all adults and we some times have to take time apart in order to grow as individuals. We have to realize what we have, if its worth the fight , and how  to go about preserving the love that sometimes we feel may be lost at times in a long-term relationship. After all that happened I had to sit with myself, cry, scream and come to accept what hurt me. But also I had to make the choice to either forgive this person or continue to allow this person to have a place in MY world that she never really held in the first place. I forgave. Not for him, but for me! Also, for “HER” ! I felt a sense of sympathy for the person she is, who she needs to still allow herself o grow into, and I found myself thanking her for being everything needed in order to show “US” both what we needed to do in order to maintain longevity.

 

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After reading this letter over and over. I finally came to the realization that my place was never taken. It was never compromised; merely a wake up call to what was needed in my life. This was vulnerability. Being able to show my heart, say how I felt, and not be afraid to be happy with someone who only had intentions to love me in all the correct ways. Which was something until meeting “HIM,” I had never experienced. See we all play a part in the things that happen in our world. Even if we don’t want to take the time to admit it. I accepted my fear of happiness pulled us apart. But the determination to love unconditionally brought us back together !

To “HER”, you are forgiven! and Thank you!

To you, From V (My letter to Him)

Happy Monday!! The second letter in my series; is a letter I wrote in light of my own personal turmoil ! I was in a situation with people I felt were friends. I felt “safe” and come to find out I wasn’t. I was sexually assaulted. I woke up confused and the person responsible acted as if everything was OK and he had done nothing. Of course shameful and not clearly grasping what  happened to me I kept the incident to myself. (As many survivors of assault do.) I had to learn to forgive someone who was not sorry for their actions, forgive myself for being shameful for something that I was not responsible for , and pray for Mercy upon this person.

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With this letter my goal was to face reality and fully accept things for what they were. It has taught me to be cautious in all situations and be mindful who I call friends. My hopes with sharing this letter is that other woman confront the things that have happened to them and be able to forgive those who have done them harm , for themselves , and continue to pray mercy for those who will need it.

 

RAINN

To you, From V ( My letter to ” YOU”)

In my recent book release ” Rose Petals Under a Reaper’s Robe: Unveiled,”  I Opened up about many subjects. I figure why not tell my story the best way I knew how. Through my writing. People would take the time to know a more intimate me or they would look right past. The end of my book covers letters that I have written to parts of my past, my current situations , and what I hope to gain int he future. Telling a vivid story of the sexual assault I endured, making peace with leaving my father out of my life for good, loving unconditionally, and finally making peace with myself.  Overall finding the courage to burn the letters and let go of all the things I felt accountable for holding me back, and my choice to lift myself up into a higher light.

The first letter to ” you” covers simply how I thank someone I love. How they have helped me to see many thing about myself and my life in such a short time and how grateful I am to have encountered such and individual.

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What I hope to cover is the meaning behind each of my letters in more detail. Only hoping that someone can see how taking the time to be honest with yourself, others and even forgive those who will never be sorry for the things they have done.

Please Take these letters a start to your own start to healing and understanding “YOU”

NOTE TO THE FELLAS !!

Are you tired of the ” Good Morning sexy”, or the ” you so finnnnee” DMs from men. But not just ANY man ! The man who has a wife, a girlfriend, shoot maybe both and a baby on the way ! CLEARLY in a relationship and yet all in your face. YESSSS ME TO! Now don’t get me wrong , compliments and well wishes are nice and all but from one single person to the next ! I think it is the most offensive thing to be approached and otherwise pursued by a man who chooses to disrespect his woman or family in order to be all in the next woman’s face !  I can’t seem to understand what men get out of doing this! For one if you aren’t happy in your own relationship LEAVE ! There is nothing that complicated keeping you in a relationship that you aren’t happy in ! Why are we damaging woman who often times don’t deserve the things that are going on behind her back !

What makes me chuckle is they will hop in your DM and you’ll make it clear like ” Hey, i’m aware of your wife/ girlfriend” and the famous line is ” We aren’t together or we are going through a rough patch.”tenor Now all those things are fine and dandy and most women who are being approached could care less about those. But WHY? WHY? WHY? is it that the first thing on a mans mind to do is to run to the next woman?! Why is it so hard to be man enough to fix the things that are going wrong in a relationship or JUST LEAVE !! But they don’t hear me though ! For one let me let the men out there know that most of us woman are not interested in being a rebound or a  booty call or the chick for the moment when your girlfriend isn’t acting the way YOU want her to. No matter what lies you are throwing around.  Personally I have been approached several times with this same situation and the first thing I feel is disrespect !

I feel disrespected by the fact you would think so less of me as to only try to pursue me in order to fill a void that you aren’t getting elsewhere or to think that I would have sex with you just to be another notch on your belt. I’m sorry NOT HAPPENING !! Given there are women okay with this and feel like they are the “prize ” because a man is willing to mess with them behind their woman’s back. But in my personal opinion those woman need a little sense knocked in them if you catch my drift !!  I can’t figure out why men don’t see this behavior ass disrespectful. Why is OK to view me as a piece of meat ? Now lets think about this:

  1. You slid in my DM
  2. I’m dumb enough to believe the lies you throw me
  3. THEN we hook up or meet up some form of fuckery behind your woman’s back
  4. Someone catches feelings ( most often the woman )
  5. the man does one of two things ! a) breaks up with his girlfriend and I become the girlfriend and THEN my “secret position” is up for grabs or b) he disappears and goes back to his woman and leaving me back at square one !giphy (1)

Now who in their right mind wants that sort of drama in their life ! The other thing that really bothers me is they have someone at home and then see that you are married/taken and STILL feel the need to make a way into speaking to you ! Given not all men are trying to get at you BUT for the ones that do like REALLY MAN?! You see me posting my man/family and you disrespect me and my relationship by feeling that you are important enough to come between a bond that’s already been built!

I say all this to say Fellas : as much as we love you learn some respect ! Not just for yourself , your own woman but other peoples homes and families as well. We get it everything isn’t always peachy at home and you just feel like the grass is greener ! To be very honest it isn’t lol We ALL come with something good or bad ! and No this isn’t a bashing against the men because there are PLENTY of woman who slide in the DMs. These same sort of women are chasing men with families and wives as well and over all its unattractive. It makes someone view you as untrustworthy and very disrespectful ! So when pursing  a woman keep in mind; NO things will not always be perfect like in the love movies but they can start out respectfully and honestly ! Close one door before opening another ! You’ll get more replies that way LOL ijs