Break the “Crabs in a Bucket” Cliche’

I have only been an Author and Business owner for a bit over two years now ! And the more and more I learn it’s like the saying goes ” More Money more problems! Although I’m still broke haha

I noticed how many people you know hate you the more blessings come your way. It’s people you wouldn’t expect. People you considered friends or even family who work HARD to bring you down . Criticizing your work or efforts or bad mouthing you in the business community in order to make you look bad so others won’t want to work with you . I personally have seen my logos ( which are trademarked by the way ) blatantly STOLEN! My slogans for my website even.

My boyfriend is the one person I always express my anger with and how hard I work for myself and the things that I do and he says ” it’s because you’re innovative ” of course he was trying to make me feel better and it did help for a bit.

But the more I see the more it makes me angry ! WHY are we bringing other people down that we could be helping? I know I don’t mind helping and I don’t need the credit because that’s just me . If I’m asked for help I give it because I want to see others succeed. But to take and take and then not reciprocate or to feel as though someone’s helping hand is no longer of value when the benefits are solely for the gain of the person you’re helping is just blatant fuckery!

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Brett Sayles Via Pexels.com

I’m sick of seeing people tear one another down in any type of business ! No support , trash talking or even taking ideas and not even being original about it . What happened to building one another up ? What happened to wanting to see people make it ? Especially those who come from some of the same communities or struggles ?

WHY is it that there is always bullshit when it comes to business ! Holding someone down doesn’t boost you up . You’re at a stepping stone where you will need the person ahead of you to pull you forward ! And so on and so forth! We ALL start from somewhere and we all have humbling experiences so there is never a need to look down on someone or purposely try and diminish their businesses or characters for gain !

My hope is that everyone learns we are in this together! Teaching each other and building one another up only makes us stronger. Not only as a community but as individuals! There is room for all of us to win ! But we can’t win trying to make someone else lose.

Hello Tranquility!

New year ! And Same me! But more knowledgeable for sure ! 2019 was such a headache for me; it almost broke me but here I stand ! I had my share of disappointments , separated myself from what I found to be toxic to my growth , made mistakes , learned lessons , and got my heart broken on a number of occasions, and I couldn’t understand WHYYYY!

How were these things happening to me when I was doing MY BEST to be open , honest , kinds , helpful and forgiving. How was I walking around with a smile but I was not feeling any peace within. How was I giving love I wasn’t receiving or allowing friends to unload their emotions on me but I couldn’t call them just to say “ hey” without being ignored. How was it I was busting my ass as a mother but I still felt like I was not good enough. IMG_0619

I broke down honestly , I had a moment I let every tear I had been holding within my spirit out, I screamed, and I kicked ! No literally I kicked my Christmas tree down ! I threw glass and I fell to my knees and prayed ! Oddly I asked God for the answers to my questions and the only response I got was “ it’s your time.” And me still feeling unsatisfied I decided that I had to ask myself why I was feeling so let down , so hurt , so unwanted , unloved , unseen and misused by those around me !

Then, Ah Ha I had an epiphany! It was no ones fault but mine why 2019 kicked my behind ! It was me I needed to blame for accepting less than, and selling myself short because I didn’t want to outshine those around. Only because they  couldn’t see what I saw in them. I was the reason I was hurting , giving things to people who wouldn’t do the same for me and I got up with a new outlook!

This year would be a fresh start ! I would use my voice and not just write how I felt on the pages of my books , I would be present in my passions and make the best of it. I would demand the things I give or I would show people the door if they only had intentions of capitalizing off what I could do for them. I would go for everything that I planned for myself even if I failed until I got it right ! I would improve the way that I talked to myself, I would write down my goals and become tunnel vision to any outside noise or negativity that would detour me from my mission.

When I accepted that I can’t save everyone before myself, that love is only what you make it , and I will only be as happy as I allow myself to be I found TRANQUILITY! 

I found peace in knowing that I had more control over how I felt than I gave myself credit for. I was in control of who stayed and went, I had the ability to demand a GOOD love from someone because I DESERVED it, and I didn’t have to maintain friendships based on the history that they held. Most of all I realized that I have been afraid to face who I have always been. The fear that had been holding me back for so long became the very thing that I needed to embrace in order to flourish in the New Year to come. 

I never make new years resolutions but this year I decided to learn more about me, and embrace the flaws I tend to hide and all while reminding myself that everything will be OK as long as i’m putting my best foot forward. So my hope for you , my readers, supporters, family and friends is that you learn to love your broken pieces, and love one another ! 

 

Happy New Year ! – V

What the F*** Now!

Hey Guys ,it been almost 2 months since I had a Blog. SOOORRRRY ! BUT not sorry. I have been trying to catch up with what now is my reality and truly how to handle it all as it comes. I have been trying to learn ways to keep myself organized as an Author, continuing to learn how to run a successful business and find the time to complete my novel.

All of these things literally thrown at me in the span of a years time.  Four books and keeping myself innovative in an ever so changing business and finally accomplishing my first step in making a name for myself . I had to stop and ask ” What the F*** now?”

What do I do with myself, and how do I continue to accomplish the goals that I set for myself when all I want to do is drink a glass of wine and take a nap. And sadly experiencing my first experience with a ” hater” in the business has all be such an overwhelming experience. I never knew how much would come my way with just following my passion. As exciting as its been I have become discouraged in many aspects. Writing a novel or telling ” my story” in other words has become challenging and I am not sure If I can do it. Experiencing business sabotage from my peers. It has left me wanting to stop everything that I have worked so hard for. I did not sign up to have bullshit coming my way from doing the thing that I love the most, and I for sure don’t want to put out work that isn’t good enough for at least one reader. I have even debated so heavily leaving my job before I return from my maternity leave.

But then I asked myself the question again. WHAT THE FUCK NOW!e001a9a1-e272-47a5-a01a-b2cd40ceefdd Then I had to give myself a pep talk ! Remind myself that I am a mother of six, an Author of FOUR books that took my blood, sweat, and tears to accomplish. Let myself know that it took me 31 years of bullshit jobs, bad relationships, bad decisions, and countless career changes in order for me to find my true calling. So whats next is I pick my head up, I continue to speak my truth, spread my imaginative thoughts to others and I write my ass off until I have  become a best selling Author. And only THEN will I be able to have that glass of wine ( or a few) and my much needed nap.

 

Tainted Soil

I’m pleased to announce that my Fourth Poetry book ” Tainted Soil” is officially here!!!

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It took me sometime to find the right words to say, the feelings to feel or even the words to put down on my paper. Trying to find myself again after the birth of my son and working through Symptoms of Postpartum Depression; I decided that I wouldn’t allow the aftershock of my son or my insecurities take control of me or my purpose. I had to coach myself through my feelings and my words to figure out how to express my thoughts. I sat with myself for weeks and focused on the things that I was feeling and needed someone to understand. And then I birthed my fourth baby.

I am so thankful for all of the love and continued support that I have been receiving . From events, to my Blogs, poetry and books. It means the world to me. I still feel like a small time gal trying to make big dreams come true and I just hope that you all continue to follow me on this journey to BEST SELLING AUTHOR !

I’m Manifesting that shit HAHA

I have left the link below for purchase. And for those of you who do PLEASE PLEASE leave your reviews. 50+ reviews puts me on Amazon’s ” Suggested read list and allows me to reach a wider audience. Thanks in advance  -V

 

Tainted Soil !!

Envious BAE!!

I’ve come to realize that your spouse being jealous of you is a REAL THING ! I mean think about it ! Have you ever been in the middle of a real glow up and the first person you want to give the good news to is your love . And the first thing out their mouth is the total opposite of excitement ? Or a dry response like ” that’s nice ”

Even the times you have such amazing ideas that you expect the world to look at you crazy for and you assume you can tell your partner and all they have to say is ” no, you can’t do that ” But WHY? Where does the jealousy come from and why wouldn’t the closest person to you celebrate you and all that you have going on ? In my opinion it’s envious behavior!

It’s no different from an outsider or a “hater” trying to downplay your abilities to make themselves feel or look better than you . They want to  put the bug in your ear or fill your head with discouraging thoughts. It’s because they simply feel that they don’t have the abilities to exceed as much as you have ! Instead of being supportive , being happy or proud to say that my man/woman is doing big things and maybe it’s just not my moment   And it’s OK to take turns being in the spot light !105

Having a partner who is resilient, intelligent and hardworking shouldn’t be intimidating. Those things should make you want to step your game up and do better ! Not bring them down because you’re afraid to grow! I know often times the male ego gets in the way of the big picture ! Certain men believe that because they ” wear the pants ” that they should be the one in the lime light ! And that their woman should never outshine them because they feel less than. And I’m sorry my success gone rub you wrong til you step it up !!

Yet, taking away the excitement of someone else for your own personal reasons is so selfish and it’s beyond hurtful! Why would anyone want to maintain a relationship with someone who isn’t growing or flourishing! Personally I love to see those around me doing well and happy. I love knowing that the person I love is doing big things so I can show the world I get to lay next to a boss every night! It makes me proud to see my partner win !

I feel that many of us have experienced a jealous ex and had no idea what the signs were . But play close attention to people who say they love you and want to see you happy but don’t show it in their actions